The heart of a Foster Mother - Part I

I stumbled upon a documentary photographer Romin Lee who works in Korea.  His photo's don't just capture moments but the emotion and the story.  I wrote to Romin a few days ago asking his permission to share a few of his photo's on my blog.   Romin's website

I have been wanting to blog a few thoughts on the foster mothers and Romin has some photo's that just express so much of what I would love to say.   I'm am sure this is not the case with every foster mother but I believe the majority give so much of themselves to these children.

I have had friends and even strangers at the park who see my 147million orphan tee shirt ask about our adoption, they will either out out of curiosity or kindness ask questions one of which is always - will the baby will be in a orphanage?  I explain that in Korea the babies are first brought to a reception center then are placed with foster families......but that is it......no one really gives the foster mother another thought they just move onto the next question....but I do and often find myself thinking on these special woman.

A few months back I joned Romin Lee's Facebook page.   I came downstairs one Saturday morning pulled up FB and there was one of the images he had captured.   I sat there just staring at it as tears started dripping into my coffee.  I had no words....the photo captured the emotion of this sweet but bitter process.

How is she going to find the courage to let him go

As adoptive parents we will be filled with so much joy at our fist meeting with our new child and at those same moments there is so much loss.  A woman who has mothered this child for so long, has given so much of herself to help him grow now has to say goodbye.

Having Korean international students is almost as funny.....

....as having a 3 year old.

Do you remember that 3 year old stage where kids just say the funniest things.  You have to always rush to write them down or you will forget.

That stage is what led me to start my first blog.  it was mainly just a place to write down the funny things they would say before I would forget.  I really wish I had kept up with it more because there were really some good ones.

Well having an 18 year old Korean international student living with you can really be almost just as amusing.

Last night our dear dear Ooney came in and was telling me about his plans to go to the beach with his friends for the weekend and how they may come home Sunday instead of Monday since there was going to be a VOLCANO....

uuuummmmm "A WHAT" I ask?  "A Volcano (just as straight faced as could be) J said a bad weather from a volcano might be coming in towards the end of the weekend".....Ok now this was me LAUGHING OUT LOUD :)

I stopped laughing and said "I love you guys - do you mean bad weather from the hurricane?

"Oh yes, a hurricane maybe that is what he said"

Wheew!  I was pretty sure I didn't know of any volcano's in this area.

Big brother sweetness

Last night Banana was brushing his teeth before bed and I was putting the laundry away and he was chatting about school and then just out of the blue he said, "I just hope my baby brother comes soon".

The kids have known of our plan to adopt all along.  We never felt like we should wait a period before telling them to make the wait easier to endure. They are older and I feel like they can handle the wait.....but Banana my boy those are my sentiments exactly.

Back from Korea

JonJon and Ooney are home!!!!!  JonJon arrived Tuesday and Ooney on Friday.  

Carrot was busy preparing she made welcome back signs for their desk and the garage door.

Is he all worn out from his long flight?  Hard to tell at any given moment we can find

 JonJon like this :)

Back to normal.....playing wii.  It is so nice to have him home. 

I received this lovely gift from JonJon.  It is a jewelry box for rings and earrings.

Inside of box. Little drawers for earrings and rings so cute.  

Ooney's mom made me this beautiful wreath for my door.

Would have put more pictures of Ooney on this post but he has been sleeping A LOT :)

USCIS I600A approval

Yay - I was so excited to see that beautiful white envelope from the Department of Homeland Security today.

We received our I600A approval!   I feel so relieved to have this final step done.  I also feel so blessed that the agency in Korea allowed us to send HSTK before this step was complete.  There was some delay in the processing of JonJon and Ooney's fingerprint cards since they had to come from Korea and they were hard copies not electronic.   I would have totally been stressing about the extra time that was taking.

We now officially all cleared to adopt :)

Ok I'm sad

I admit this year is way easier than last year when Carrot went went to kindergarten but I am still more sad than I thought I would be.  I miss them when they are not here but the sadness is more from wishing I could stop time for a while and enjoy what I think is probably our "golden years" of parenting.  Our kids are at easy stages and we are so blessed.  I just wish I could make time stand still. 

First day of 5th grade and 1st grade

Dinning room - before and after

I am a little behind in posting these.  We have been in our house about 7 years now and many of the rooms need fresh paint.  

This summer my goal was to get the playroom, dinning room, and hall/stairs painted.  I did the playroom first ( Playroom pictures), the dinning room in July, and I am working on the hall currently.  We also impromptu just remodeled the kids bathroom pictures to come later this week.

 Yellow - Before 

 I forgot to take a picture of the room before so I pulled out these old pictures from Carrots B-day party

Old picture of the brass light fixture

After picture of the light fixture after I painted a rubbed bronze

Here is my $20 dollar lamp.  I found an old brass one at the Goodwill for $5 I painted it and bought a new shade total $20

Now this is really weird.  I sold my old black primitive style shelf from the before picture on craig's list for $40.  The next day I went onto craig's list to look for a mirror to replace it.  I knew I wanted one in silver and bingo found this Pottery Barn mirror for.....$40 (weird huh)

I made some "no sew" curtains.  Joann's had their decorators material on 50% off so I snagged the material and the backing for under $30

The below are the "after pictures" almost a mossy brown/gray color

My Korean Geese (present from JonJon)

In Korea a traditional gift when you marry is a pair of wooden love geese.  

The geese symbolize several virtues that the couple should follow in their married life:

Wild geese keep the same partner for life. Even of one dies, the other will not seek a new partner for the rest of his or her life

Wild geese understand hierarchy and order. Even when flying, they maintain structure and harmony.

Wild geese have the nature to leave their existence wherever they go. People should leave a great legacy for their descendants when they leave this world. (note: my geese should be in a red silk nest but that does not match - I hope that does not break the blessing LOL)

Also a present from JonJon are some ceramic tea cups 

My grandmothers china dishes.  I used to love to look at these when I was little.  I just loved the little village scene on them.  Very "fall"!

Coming soon the new bathroom we are exhausted from trying to get it all done in two days before JonJon's return.

My best thinking time is done....

On my mower 

I love to mow...crazy I know but I do my best thinking on the mower.  During yesterday's mowing sessions there was just so much to think about  My thoughts flowed from one thing to another.  This blog post is a peak inside my brain while mowing....maybe one day I will do a peak inside my brain while I'm suffering from insomnia post....that would be good  ;)


Amazement.....
Next week school would be starting and I just have no idea where the summer went.  This lead me to think about.....


Change......
 I'm not good with change and change was coming.  My kiddo's are going back to school.  I always miss them so much when they are gone and it takes me a good 3 weeks to get used to it.  

My daycare will go down to only 2 during the day - this I am excited about!!!   I am looking forward to no preschool runs and a light load but at the same time that leaves me with a lot of time on my hands.  It is amazing what the body can adjust to.....can you believe I will be caring for a 2 year old and 6 month old and I feel like there is a lot of time on my hands (when my son was born I didn't even think about a sibling until he was over 3 LOL)  This led me to think about.....


What am I looking forward to with the season change......

JonJon comes back from Korea  (and hopefully Ooney too).  I can hardly believe how much I missed this kid when he went back to Korea.  The it is so weird how our nuclear family once J, me, Banana and Carrot felt incomplete in their absence.  He comes in Tuesday of next week and we are excited to welcome him home.

Our adoption......

and how I like to have a plan for everything.  In my mind I am assuming/planning on getting a boy even though we elected either gender.  In one way having that small percentage of what if it was a girl is exciting.....but I almost wonder if I would be disappointed if we got a girl referral.  I think we really want a boy....it is what we feel will fit best into our family and what we are planning for, so I am thinking of making that change in our paperwork.

and our adoptions got me thinking about what I should be thinking about most......

What I need to focus on most.....

My relationship with God.  I have been following a blog I discover a while back when we were considering adoptions as was this couple they moved forward while we were still in the waiting for the right timing phase.  She recently posted on something I am so guilty of....making our family and loved one's our god.  Here is a link to her post which really go me to thinking on this and my need to spend more time in prayer and devotion.  http://www.ourhappilyeverafters.com/2012/08/your-family-is-your-god.html?spref=bl.

There are so many things I need to pray for daily - my husband who works a stressful job and has to balance his obligation to his work and his family, my children who are at such formative ages and in school with all the pressures of the world around them, my baby who is not growing within me but in another woman halfway across the world who is probably hurting, is she caring for herself and her baby within?   How am I worthy to go to God in prayer with my request and petitions if I am not consistently spending time in his word and growing?

I checked this out of our church library.  I have read Stormie O'Martin's The Power of a Praying Wife and after this one I would like to read The Power of a Praying Parent.

Aren't you glad I only have a little less than 1 acre to mow not 2 acres.

A mom's hug last long after she lets go.~Author Unknown

This past weekend my mom would have been 73.

I lost my mother before my children were born which is a blessing and also a loss.  I saw a different kind of pain on my sisters faces with the loss of my mother.  They were sad having lost their mother but they also had to watch their children loose their MomMom....they knew what life was like having our mom in their children's lives and also had the realization that that was gone.

I only had to deal with my loss but on the flip side of that is the sadness that even if my children only new her briefly their lives would have been so blessed from it.

My children have no memories of having their Mom Mom make them Halloween costumes or baby quilts. They never had her take them to the ocean and give them an entire lesson on marine life in such a way that they didn't even know they were learning.

I have certainly not lived the past 13 years feeling sorry for myself but our social worker touched on the loss of my mom a great deal and it has gotten me thinking a lot on it lately.

I AM missing so much.  I see friends have their mom's come for a visit, I see a mom, grandma and child at the library, at the park and on vacations.  It makes me wonder how my life would be different.

My mom is gone but not really.  We are her legacy....and hopefully we can live our lives as a reflection of what she was and what she taught us.

My mom was an amazing woman.  She reflected God's love, she could work a full time job come home make a completely meal from scratch, work on her lesson plans for school, weed her garden, and have time to work on a quilt all in one day.

I know I will never measure up but I hope I can spend my life trying.

I found a little book she made me when I was little that taught me to tie, button, zip, etc........

Learn to tie

Learn to Button

Learn to buckle

1 Month...down

 MONTH DOWN!!!

I was just filling out a daily report for one of my daycare kids and went to look at the date.....WHOOHOOOO one month down on the wait.  It was hard for me to believe that the month has gone so fast....just maybe the rest of the wait will go this fast :)  

Barbie and Ken's wedding take 2

One of my first pins from Pinterest this a.m. was a crack up funny Barbie and Ken Wedding photo album.  I pinned it thinking Carrot would LOVE IT!!!  Oh I was so right.  She spent all day recreating   this for fun.  This is a must see. 

The above photo was the pin on pinterest and the link below is to the original Barbie and Ken album.  It is worth looking at.
http://www.glamour.com/weddings/blogs/save-the-date/2011/08/real-wedding-album-barbie-ken.html



And now Carrot's version.....................

and they lived happily ever after............