March 5th

Update:

On Tuesday, March 5th the 3 Korean agencies (Holt, SWS, ESWS - these three work with all U.S. agencies) will be meeting with the Korean Family court to discuss how these changes will financially and emotionally impact the waiting families and children.

Hoping and praying that their voices are heard.

PLEASE PRAY

I have posted the full MPAK update below if you are interested in reading.  It will give you insight into our adoption situation.

As a summary  the courts are potentially going to require adoptive parents to travel to Korea and appear in front of the court and the stay in Korea could be between 3-4 weeks.  There is also a 14 day waiting period during this stay to give the birth mother another chance to reconsider and parent her baby.

It is hard to process or put into words how crummy I feel.  I know God has a plan but I don't know what that plan is.  The idea of two trips or an extended stay (I was thinking maybe 2 weeks) was bad enough but this is such a big change.

What if they require both parents to stay the whole time? Can Jeff even get off work?  Could I take the kids and Jeff meet us later?  Will the school permit me to take the kid of school and we could stay over there and do their work there? What would the cost be and how can we afford this additional cost?

There are so many unknowns and I know it is not worth thinking about until the final decision is made but it is hard not to think about how all these questions.

The idea of dropping out of this program at this point is heartbreaking.  I know it may be hard for some to understand but I have prepared for this baby in my heart almost the same as when I was pregnant with my other two children.  The heart break would be overwhelming.

I know God tells us we can pray openly so my prayer is going to be specific.

I am just praying it is determined that this is one trip and hopefully no longer than 3 weeks at the maximum.  Praying that if they say both parents don't have to be there the entire time it can be on the front end and the other come later and then travel home together.  I just can't imagine flying home with a toddler (who does not know me) alone.



   Full MPAK Update 

I made a couple of calls to Korea last night to find out what the status is regarding the adoption process for those waiting families that are adopting children from Korea.  I am sorry to say that the news is not good for now.  I am somewhat reluctant in sharing this, but you have to know what is going on and be prepared for it.

It has to do with the travel requirements, which will strain and burden many adoptive families, especially those with children in their care already.  The travel is necessary for the parents to go over to pick up their children and finalize adoption in Korea before the judges of the Family Court.  They (the agencies) are predicting that adoptive parents can expect to wait 3 – 4 weeks in Korea while adoption is being finalized.  Today I spoke with a friend of mine who was adopting from Puerto Rico, and he was told that he and his wife had to be in Puerto Rico for six weeks.  So this wait is not unique to Korea apparently.

The great bulk of this waiting is due to the reconsideration period requirement of 14 days.  During this time the parents are expected to be in Korea, at least that is the latest policy, but the agencies will be meeting with the judges and lawyers to discuss the impact that this regulation would have upon the visiting parents in terms of their time and expenses, not to mention the impacts upon the other children in the families.

Once the adoptive parents stand before a judge to interview through a process of questions and answers, and if the judge finds the parents acceptable based on all the paper works submitted and reviewed, then the judge declares adoption to go forward and the 14-day waiting period begins.  This waiting period is designed to give chance to birthmothers to take back their children should they change their minds.

Birthmothers will not be present during the time when the adoptive parents stand before the judge. However, a separate inquiry will be made by the court beforehand to confirm birthmothers’ intention of giving up their children.  Even if a birthmother confirms her intention to give up the baby, the judge will issue the 14-day waiting period when the prospective adoptive parents stand before a judge.  After the 14-day reconsideration period is over, then the judge finalizes adoption and grants the parents to take the child home. 

As of now, there are still some adoptions that have not been finalized based on 2012 quota.  In other words, the 2012 quota has not been met and it is close to March 2013.  There are about half dozen cases where EP has been granted and these cases are still being processed by the Family Court. There are another half dozen cases that are still waiting to receive the EP approvals, and another half dozen that are waiting to be submitted to start the EP approval process.  These cases are all from the 2012 quota and they cover all three agencies.  I don’t have the breakdown on the number of cases belonging to a particular agency.

So the intercountry adoption picture gets uglier due to the Special Adoption Law, which seems to focus on giving the birthmothers as much chance as possible for them to raise their own children.  Nobody can deny the well-intentioned purpose of the law, but the reality just does not support it.  What concerns me is that some of these birthmothers may decide on a moment to raise their children, but once the reality and hardship strikes them on their everyday lives, they may give up their babies later.  There have been many in the past where the birthmothers gave up their children as they realized that raising children requires a lot of commitment and sacrifice that they were not prepared for. 

It is entirely possible that during the 14-day waiting period some birthmothers may decide to take back their babies (just got an email today from a woman where this has just recently happened to her). Some may last longer than 14 days, but some will give up before the 14-day period is over.  In this case the patience of the waiting parents may be rewarded. 

But for now, I wish to turn to you folks who are reading this blog.  I wish to compile a list of reasons why the 3-4 weeks wait in Korea may be too hard on you.  I wish to submit a compiled list to the Family Court and see if something can be done to shorten the wait.  The judges and lawyers in the court need to hear your voice. 

Some of the hardships I have already mentioned.  You may ask, “Can just one of the parents travel while the other takes care of the family?” or “Is there a way to shorten the waiting period if a birthmother is very sure of her decision?” or “I have a limited vacation days and this travel requirement is too difficult.”  You may submit your comments along this line, and I am looking for some reasons that will really project the hearts and mind of all the waiting parents who are caught in this mess, and hopefully the powers that be in Korea will listen, and reach a favorable compromise that will work for all.

The "everydays"

I looked at my blog and realized it has been quite a while since I posted anything.  Not much has been going on lately.  I had the stomach virus compliments of my daycare littles and it has just be the everyday stuff going on but as I looked through my pictures I realized my simple "everydays" are kind of interesting and worth remembering.

Disclaimer - there are entirely too many pictures of me without make-up in this post.

First I have been working on some projects for our church's production of Esther.  It takes some creativity to fulfill the vision of our Pastor's wife who is directing the production so I hope she is not disappointed with any of these.

The first item I worked on was a table they needed to look "Persian" for the set.  It was a plain wooded table and with the paint colors they gave me this is how it turned out.  

Next up were the hats that were needed for one of the opening musical numbers where the king is displaying his gold and silver wealth.  There will be two girls wearing these and they will be walking around and going up and down stairs displaying different "items of wealth" so here is what I came up with.

Yikes I hope they stay together and stay on.

This past weekend we had a  - 5 big girls and 1 little girl - sleep over to celebrate my niece Meaghan's 20th birthday.  My sister dragged multiple mattresses onto the living room floor and we camped out and watched movies....or movie for the old gal like me who fell asleep after the first one.

Left: My oldest sister, her daughter Sarah, my next oldest sister, her daughter Meaghan, Carrot below and then me on  the right.

Had to get some pictures of the morning hair - Sorry Sarah but know one you know reads this except your family - really you look beautiful.

 The three cousin's toasting Meaghan's birthday with their morning smoothies.

Me and my puppy cuddled up in bed....yes, that is a moose comforter (I have had it since high school and it is an add on for the winter not my bedroom theme) and No, I don't let me dog sleep under the covers with me everynight - just when Jeff is not in bed and I'm cold.

Got a new hair cut....not sure if I'm crazy about it but it always grows back.

 Don't know why this is sideways and really don't have the time to fix it so turn your computer if you must....our Sunday morning of bacon, biscuits, fried apples, scrambled eggs with cheese, and strawberries.  Jeff and I have been reading the Little House on the Prairie series to the kids and he and Banana have been pretty insistant that we should have breakfast like they do.

Please don't laugh.  This is my attempt to make JonJon a soccer ball birthday cake....ah the things we do.....

I think that just about sums up my last week.  I also have been crocheting, finished up Carrot's 2009-2011 photo book, started the babies life book that will be filled with "his story" on joining our family, and have finished 3 weeks of "summer camp" lesson plans.  Feels great to get stuff done.

Fun Day

This weekend we took a trip to visit the air and space museum.  I didn't realize how impressed Carrot was until this morning at breakfast when all she could talk about was how the silver plane was her first favorite then the white plane (which was really a space shuttle) then the movie we watch with the big screen where JonJon fell asleep.   We finished the day with a delicious dinner to celebrate JonJon's birthday. It was a fun day.  

Why Banana is always making faces is beyond me.....must be the age

Happy Valentines Day

7 Months

As of February 13 we have been waiting for seven moths.  

Update on what is going on in the adoption world. 

Court Review - The new law that was passed in August dictated that all adoptions now go through  the Korean family court system.  Our agency said this additional step may delay the time from referral to travel by about 2 months.  Before you would travel in 3-4 months now they are saying 4-6.  Many families have their cases in family court right now and they have been there for almost 2 months.  The hope is that they are reviewing them all and then will approve them in one big batch.  Some e-mails from agencies have said they expect to see the approval from family court within 10 days.  It would be really nice to see some movement.  Praying it does not take them this long going forward and that this extra time is just due to the judges familiarizing themselves with the adoption paperwork.

She warms my heart

Sunday afternoon driving home from church Carrot and I were talking about what to do with our afternoon.  Banana had a birthday party so we talked about making valentines cookies.  Little did we realize when we stepped out of our car that the day was actually very pleasant for February and Daddy was going to be outside working in the garage so I told her I wanted to trim all the bushes while they were still dormant.  This took quite some time and by the time I cleaned up it was time to make dinner.  

After dinner she was still so set on baking.  I was just plain tired.  All I wanted to do was go take a nice hot shower and crash but I put on my lets bake cookies face and we began. 

I felt so tired I was not really enjoying the experience but I was trying to fake the enjoyment for her sake.  Carrot was just so excited and must have squealed about ever batch that came out of the oven and said over and over, " I just love making cookies with you Mom" that it did become very enjoyable.  

Thank you for pushing me along little girl your enthusiasm is contagious!

The preachers grandson

I had just served ten children cup cakes to celebrate one of the daycare kids birthdays. There was crumbs on the table, crumbs on the floor, a mess of milk cups in the sink and 5 kids had just exited early all at once.

I was enjoying the quiet and looking at the mess I needed to start to clean and I glanced into the family room and there was Banana sitting on the couch with one of the daycare kids, his Bible in his lap telling him about Jesus.

I had overheard during snack one boy ask if anyone had ever prayed to God before.  I heard many echo yes (almost in an of course tone).  It must have embarrassed this boy because he quickly said I mean have you ever prayed to God for the homeless people.

After the last kid left and we were taking the puppy for a walk Banana told me that after snack he found this boy looking through Carrot's old baby Bible.  Banana told him that was a baby Bible and asked him if he wanted to see the real Bible.  So Banana went upstairs and got his Adventure Bible and that is where I found them sitting on the couch.  I tried to sneak a picture but didn't want to disturb them so the lighting is poor but sweet just the same.

Banana read him the 10 commandments and the little boy said sometimes I do some of those things, do you think it is too late to change.  Banana told him it was not and that we all do bad things - all the time- and that is why we need Jesus to forgive us.  When he got to the commandment on remember the Sabbath and keep it holy the boy said he didn't go to church and Banana explain you can ask Jesus in your heart even if your parents don't go to church and you can't get there.  He said maybe you could just spent some time on Sunday praying to God or reading the Bible.   Then Banana proceeded to explain how if he wanted to he could pray and ask Jesus into his heart.

Banana told me that ever since he heard a lesson at his Wednesday night boys club on God having an "assignment" for each of us he had been praying for an opportunity to share Jesus with someone.  He said that at first he thought his assignment could be to help with the chair set up or some other job around the church and then got to thinking his "assignment" could  also be to share about Jesus.

I was so proud of my little boy yesterday.  It takes great courage to share your faith.

Banana the tooth fairy

This post is not going to land us the parent of the year award but it is too sweet not to capture for memories.

Carrot lost one of her front teeth yesterday after school.  She is no longer a tooth fairy believer in fact when Jeff got home last night she showed him her missing tooth and said, "Dad you have money right?".

The tooth was placed into my old tooth pillow that my mom made for me when I was little and was waiting to be filled as we tucked them into bed.

It had to wait for a long time because this morning when Jeff and I got home from the gym and normally only the big boys are up and getting ready for school we saw the light to Carrot and Banana's room on.  We walked in and Carrot yelled, "I got 5 dollars!"

I looked and Jeff and whispered, "You gave her 5 dollars for one tooth".  Jeff had a puzzeled look on his face and then we saw Banana winking at us.

Jeff had fallen asleep and never put any money in her pillow and Banana having had the ~Mom and Dad forgot to give me money in the past ~ put money in for us. 

The story played out that they were awake and Carrot saw her tooth had fallen to the floor and was wondering what happened.  Banana told her why don't you go down stairs and see if mom is there and while she did he took some money out of his piggy bank and slipped it into her pillow.

I love these kids!

Seollal (Lunar New Year)

In Korea you celebrate the Solar New Year like we do but they also celebrate the Lunar New Year (Seollal).  This is one of Koreas most celebrated holidays.

I have been working on trying to say Happy New Year in Hangul and it is tricky 새해 복 많이 받으세요  (Sae Hae Bok Mani Ba Deu Se Yo). I ask JonJon to to help with the pronunciation the problem is when you ask them to say something in Korean it sounds all mumble-jumble so I have come to realize that if I can ALMOST say it right and then say it really FAST and Quiet.....I can probably master the korean language.

A traditional food item you would eat for Seollal would be duk gook.   This is a soup with dumplings and thinly sliced rice cakes.  If all goes well this upcoming weekend I am going to attempt to make this.  

This past weekend I attempted to make Seonpyeon or Korean rice cakes.  It was a successful/unsuccessful endeavor.

 First you start by sifting the rice powder. About 2 cups for each color you choose to make. 

Below is the raspberry puree I made to make the dough pink.  You do so by blending berries with some water then putting through a strainer.    I also made a puree out of blueberries to make a purple dough

Next you add in 4Tbs. of either boiling water or the boiling colored juices you choose to add to change the color. 

Then you kneed this for 5 minutes.  If it sticks to your hands add 1Tbs. more of rice powder at a time until you can manage the dough.

Wrap your dough in plastic wrap and allow to rest for 30 minutes

You make your filling by grinding 1/2 cup roasted seseame and mix honey and sugar and a pinch of salt.  Then you shape dough into 1 inch circles and add a 1/2 tsp to the center and seal in a half moon shape.

 Here is where my "attempt" was unsuccessful. You put down a paper towel in your steamer then layer some pine needles, your rice cakes, then more pine needles then steam for 15 minutes.

My first batch I steamed at too high of a temperature and they all melted together into a big mess.     Second attempt I steamed at a lower temperature by lowering my stove heat and leaving the lid cracked and they turned out perfect.

After the 15 minutes you remove them from the pan and quickly dip into cold water to remove the pine needles.

Third batch I was running low on pine needles and wasn't sure what the purpose of those were (to add flavor, give aroma ??) well now I know.....

Rice cakes are sticky little boogers and almost impossible to remove from the pan/paper towel without the pine needles so batch number three was also ruined and now I know the importance of the pine needles.

When you remove these from the pan the pine needles are stuck all over each rice cake but you can get them out of the pan and off the towel and as soon as you dip this into the cold water you are able to remove and needles and then lay your rice cake onto you serving platter.

 Lesson learned and I ended up with only a small batch of rice cakes but the good news is the boys said they tasted just as they should so it was still a success and I will be prepared next time with ample pine needles.

Happy Lunar New Year

  

 

Forgotten post

I was looking over the blog and realized I completely forgot to show the before and after pictures of the kids bathroom Jeff remodeled this past summer.  I had mentioned in a post that the pictures were coming....now several months later....here they are

Before

 After 

Sink out

New sink and mirror

New light fixture

Old Floor

New Floor

My boys working hard

Thank you for your sacrifices

A husbands sacrifies

Just last week we lost our carpool arrangement for our "big kids" and it has reminded me of how much Jeff sacrifices for this adoption.

I am the one who wanted to add a 3rd child to our family he was content with 2.  I am the one who really wanted to do so by adopting.  Jeff is the one who has to make so many sacrifices to make this happen.

Last year we committed to one year of hosting the boys and that one year turned into two and probably three.  Neither one of us regret the opportunity we have had to have them in our life.  We love them, we love learning about their culture, we love how God provided this way to help fund the adoption, but one year of committing to this schedule is much easier than three.  After the reality of loosing the carpool sunk in we thought about not hosting next year but we can't imagine JonJon being here and not living with us he is part of our family.

Jeff drops off (and now) picks up the boys from school everyday.  This may not seem like a big deal to most readers but when you factor in that their school is almost 45 minutes from here and is kind of but not really on Jeff's way to work it makes it a big deal.  With sports and after school needs this is a constant scheduling challenge.  Sometimes he has to leave work early to get them and then has to make up for it by working at home late into the evening.  Other times like yesterday when he is sick and is staying home he still has to get up early to drive them to school before he can come home and crash again. 

Thank you Jeff for all these sacrifices you make.  I know I don't express how much it means to me or thank you enough for all you do, but it means so very much that you are willing to do all this.  I know one day you will love your little boy and look back and feel all this was worth it to have him but I know you made this decision to adopt and are willing to do all this to make it happen primarily for me.   You know how important it was to me and that means the world to me.  I love you very much!