Boat shopping, Annapolis, and Korean Festival

This past weekend we took at trip to look at a sail boat in Annapolis so we took full advantage of the nice weather and strolled around the town and went to the Naval Academy.   I had also seen that there was a Korean festival that same day so we took another drive and landed there around dinner time.

Touring the Naval Academy

 The kiddos found some nuts from a tree and yes we kept them and planed them in the back yard.  We will see what happens come spring :)

Caught the beginning of a wedding at the Navel Academy

Checking out one of the tall ships that was docked 

I can not remember the name of this street but it was pretty awesome with lots of old row homes.  I didn't take a picture but there was this one house with a cute little fence coved with a beautiful green vine with purple flowers and purple pods.  I searched every nursery this spring looking for this plant to grow and have not been able to find it so I snatched a couple of pods and hope to dry them and plant them next year LOL

I took a picture of the pods if anyone knows the name of the plant please please share.

Carrot enjoying the ducks

She is such a sweet thing and always up for posing

Back to the Korean festival.  So heard about this on the adoption Fb group I am part of and I figured since we were not too far off looking at the boat we could try it out.  It was about an hour still to get there and we started question this decision on the drive.  What if it was small?  What if it was dumb?  Well we pulled into the parking lot and this picture does not due justice to how many people were there.

 There was more Korean food than you could imagine.  Thank goodness JonJon came with us and helped us decide what to get because almost everything was written in Hangul.  Some signs would say pork or beek and some just had a pig or cow face drawn next to it :)

So that is where we ended our day sitting in a field surrounded by Korean's eating bulgogi and rice and watching traditional Korean signing and dancing along with watching people practice their Gangnam style and then have J refer to himself as Oppa the rest of  the night :)

Played hooky to go sailing

That is one handsome sailor

more pictures here

2 Months

Month 2 of waiting has passed me by.  We have been so busy I completely forgot we are already down two months of waiting for our referral.  

Lunch break

How lucky am I that this is me on my lunch break....and almost always that my lunch break is 2 hours.

I know I have totally blogged about this before but it is just one of those things that I am thankful for.  Having a daycare is hard at times....but it sure beats going to the office.

There are things about my old job I miss lets see:  getting put on more than jeans and a tee shirt, wearing high heels, having people to talk to during the day....but I think that is it.  What I hated most about my old job was being there on days like today.

The daycare isn't always easy.  Tantrums, poop, long lonely mornings, poop........

...... but then you get to one o'clock p.m.  that beautiful time of the day when I can lay down these well training children who I simply need to carry to their pack and play and lay down and they take a nap without a fuss and I can slip down stairs and out to my deck and drink in this beautiful September day.

I am very bless and very thankful I have been able to make this change in my life.  I wish I could bottle some of this day and save it for you when you get home.

Hopefully not the last

I am hoping to get to the beach one more time this year.  I just love the beach in September but with September also comes soccer games, Christmas Program play practice, the start of me teaching Jr. Church and a buffet of other activities that keep up busy on the weekends.  More pictures here

God sends us what we need

I saw this post on the adoption facebook page I am a member of and I hope these two women don't mind me posting here.  

I have not blogged for over a week because we have been going through some really tough times this week.  I have so many planned blog post that are all fun and happy but you can't blog those when you are not happy and going through a valley so I have simply not been blogging at all, but I guess this blog is not intended for just the happy moments if is intended for the moments we are discouraged and doubtful about if what you are doing is right.

I have had some doubts lately and for good reason and have been praying that God show me the way.  Even just this morning before I got out of bed I ask God to show me if we were doing the right thing and surprisingly these encouraging words were posted this morning on a fb pages that is normally just filled with question on procedure and pictures of adoptions moments....it was so helpful to me.  


(written by Jen H from Laura P's blog) This is great encouragement - We are not alone!

Is adoption easy? No it is not. Is this simple? Nope. Complicated and long-term. Will bonding be immediate and seamless? Maybe, but probably not. Will you struggle with guilt and fear that first year? Yes, but you shouldn’t. You’ve agreed to partner with God in some difficult, heart-wrenching work, and it’s no kum-by-yah party. Give grace to yourself; God already has.

Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting through, and adoption is one of them. I can hardly think of something closer to God’s character, who is the “Father to the fatherless, defender of widows — this is God, whose dwelling is holy.” Cert

ainly, we are his difficult children who spaz out and pull away and manipulate and struggle. We distrust His good love and sabotage our blessings, imagining our shame disqualifies us or that God couldn’t possibly be faithful to such orphans.

But He is. We are loved with an everlasting love, and it is enough to overwhelm our own fear and shame and humanity. In adoption, God is enough for us all. He can overcome our children’s grief. He can overshadow our own inadequacies. He can sweep up our families in a beautiful story of redemption and hope and healing. If you are afraid of adoption, trying to stiff-arm the call, God is the courage you don’t have. If you are waiting, suffering with longing for your child, God is the determination you need. If you are in the early days of chaos, God is the peace you and your child hunger for. If your family feels lost, He is the stability everyone is looking for. If you are working hard on healing, digging deep with your child, God is every ounce of the hope and restoration and safety and grace.

In Him, you can do this.

He is enough for us all.

The heart of a Foster Mother- Part II

Adoption is a beautiful thing.  I get to parent a third child, a child I have prayed for God to send me for almost a decade....but the process begins with so much loss.

By the time our baby is placed with us, his forever family, he will have already had to loose two mothers.  His first mother who carried him within and chose to give him life, but could not parent him.

His second mother, his foster mother, who he could have been with only a few short month or in many cases between 1-2 years.   When we pick up our baby this will be his Mother....this is ALL he knows.

This woman will have cared for him day and night, she will have picked him up from the reception center and started to give him the care of a mother.  This care is so important and so much of what he needed during these crucial developmental stages when babies need the touch and love of a personal care giver.  He is part of her life day in and out.  He is often with her all day and night, napping on her back, sleeping in her bed...he calls her Umma.

Then one day probably with tears in her eyes she dresses him one last time, she feeds him one last breakfast and she prepares to say goodbye.  She takes him to the adoption office and watches the happiness in the faces of his new family....and she feels loss.

How can she communicate to this baby's new mother all she needs to about this baby - it is impossible.  She tries to shares the most important with the help of the interpreter and then she says goodbye.

These pictures express exactly the loss these babies feel....they just lost what they know as Umma.....

.....and Umma just lost the baby she loved and cared for. 

There will be so much loss and grief that accompanies my joy of becoming a parent again.  It is heartbreaking.  Preparing for this new baby is an emotional process like I have never experienced.

"There is an instinct in a woman to love most her own child - and an instinct to make any child who needs her love, 

HER OWN."

~Robert Brault~

Thank you to Romin Lee who allowed me to share his images. Click here for Romin's website

Hopefully we will meet one day when we finally make it to Seoul in the mean time my I will keep adding to my "kimchi jar for photos" ;)

The heart of a Foster Mother - Part I

I stumbled upon a documentary photographer Romin Lee who works in Korea.  His photo's don't just capture moments but the emotion and the story.  I wrote to Romin a few days ago asking his permission to share a few of his photo's on my blog.   Romin's website

I have been wanting to blog a few thoughts on the foster mothers and Romin has some photo's that just express so much of what I would love to say.   I'm am sure this is not the case with every foster mother but I believe the majority give so much of themselves to these children.

I have had friends and even strangers at the park who see my 147million orphan tee shirt ask about our adoption, they will either out out of curiosity or kindness ask questions one of which is always - will the baby will be in a orphanage?  I explain that in Korea the babies are first brought to a reception center then are placed with foster families......but that is it......no one really gives the foster mother another thought they just move onto the next question....but I do and often find myself thinking on these special woman.

A few months back I joned Romin Lee's Facebook page.   I came downstairs one Saturday morning pulled up FB and there was one of the images he had captured.   I sat there just staring at it as tears started dripping into my coffee.  I had no words....the photo captured the emotion of this sweet but bitter process.

How is she going to find the courage to let him go

As adoptive parents we will be filled with so much joy at our fist meeting with our new child and at those same moments there is so much loss.  A woman who has mothered this child for so long, has given so much of herself to help him grow now has to say goodbye.

Having Korean international students is almost as funny.....

....as having a 3 year old.

Do you remember that 3 year old stage where kids just say the funniest things.  You have to always rush to write them down or you will forget.

That stage is what led me to start my first blog.  it was mainly just a place to write down the funny things they would say before I would forget.  I really wish I had kept up with it more because there were really some good ones.

Well having an 18 year old Korean international student living with you can really be almost just as amusing.

Last night our dear dear Ooney came in and was telling me about his plans to go to the beach with his friends for the weekend and how they may come home Sunday instead of Monday since there was going to be a VOLCANO....

uuuummmmm "A WHAT" I ask?  "A Volcano (just as straight faced as could be) J said a bad weather from a volcano might be coming in towards the end of the weekend".....Ok now this was me LAUGHING OUT LOUD :)

I stopped laughing and said "I love you guys - do you mean bad weather from the hurricane?

"Oh yes, a hurricane maybe that is what he said"

Wheew!  I was pretty sure I didn't know of any volcano's in this area.

Big brother sweetness

Last night Banana was brushing his teeth before bed and I was putting the laundry away and he was chatting about school and then just out of the blue he said, "I just hope my baby brother comes soon".

The kids have known of our plan to adopt all along.  We never felt like we should wait a period before telling them to make the wait easier to endure. They are older and I feel like they can handle the wait.....but Banana my boy those are my sentiments exactly.

Back from Korea

JonJon and Ooney are home!!!!!  JonJon arrived Tuesday and Ooney on Friday.  

Carrot was busy preparing she made welcome back signs for their desk and the garage door.

Is he all worn out from his long flight?  Hard to tell at any given moment we can find

 JonJon like this :)

Back to normal.....playing wii.  It is so nice to have him home. 

I received this lovely gift from JonJon.  It is a jewelry box for rings and earrings.

Inside of box. Little drawers for earrings and rings so cute.  

Ooney's mom made me this beautiful wreath for my door.

Would have put more pictures of Ooney on this post but he has been sleeping A LOT :)

USCIS I600A approval

Yay - I was so excited to see that beautiful white envelope from the Department of Homeland Security today.

We received our I600A approval!   I feel so relieved to have this final step done.  I also feel so blessed that the agency in Korea allowed us to send HSTK before this step was complete.  There was some delay in the processing of JonJon and Ooney's fingerprint cards since they had to come from Korea and they were hard copies not electronic.   I would have totally been stressing about the extra time that was taking.

We now officially all cleared to adopt :)

Ok I'm sad

I admit this year is way easier than last year when Carrot went went to kindergarten but I am still more sad than I thought I would be.  I miss them when they are not here but the sadness is more from wishing I could stop time for a while and enjoy what I think is probably our "golden years" of parenting.  Our kids are at easy stages and we are so blessed.  I just wish I could make time stand still. 

First day of 5th grade and 1st grade

Dinning room - before and after

I am a little behind in posting these.  We have been in our house about 7 years now and many of the rooms need fresh paint.  

This summer my goal was to get the playroom, dinning room, and hall/stairs painted.  I did the playroom first ( Playroom pictures), the dinning room in July, and I am working on the hall currently.  We also impromptu just remodeled the kids bathroom pictures to come later this week.

 Yellow - Before 

 I forgot to take a picture of the room before so I pulled out these old pictures from Carrots B-day party

Old picture of the brass light fixture

After picture of the light fixture after I painted a rubbed bronze

Here is my $20 dollar lamp.  I found an old brass one at the Goodwill for $5 I painted it and bought a new shade total $20

Now this is really weird.  I sold my old black primitive style shelf from the before picture on craig's list for $40.  The next day I went onto craig's list to look for a mirror to replace it.  I knew I wanted one in silver and bingo found this Pottery Barn mirror for.....$40 (weird huh)

I made some "no sew" curtains.  Joann's had their decorators material on 50% off so I snagged the material and the backing for under $30

The below are the "after pictures" almost a mossy brown/gray color

My Korean Geese (present from JonJon)

In Korea a traditional gift when you marry is a pair of wooden love geese.  

The geese symbolize several virtues that the couple should follow in their married life:

Wild geese keep the same partner for life. Even of one dies, the other will not seek a new partner for the rest of his or her life

Wild geese understand hierarchy and order. Even when flying, they maintain structure and harmony.

Wild geese have the nature to leave their existence wherever they go. People should leave a great legacy for their descendants when they leave this world. (note: my geese should be in a red silk nest but that does not match - I hope that does not break the blessing LOL)

Also a present from JonJon are some ceramic tea cups 

My grandmothers china dishes.  I used to love to look at these when I was little.  I just loved the little village scene on them.  Very "fall"!

Coming soon the new bathroom we are exhausted from trying to get it all done in two days before JonJon's return.

My best thinking time is done....

On my mower 

I love to mow...crazy I know but I do my best thinking on the mower.  During yesterday's mowing sessions there was just so much to think about  My thoughts flowed from one thing to another.  This blog post is a peak inside my brain while mowing....maybe one day I will do a peak inside my brain while I'm suffering from insomnia post....that would be good  ;)


Amazement.....
Next week school would be starting and I just have no idea where the summer went.  This lead me to think about.....


Change......
 I'm not good with change and change was coming.  My kiddo's are going back to school.  I always miss them so much when they are gone and it takes me a good 3 weeks to get used to it.  

My daycare will go down to only 2 during the day - this I am excited about!!!   I am looking forward to no preschool runs and a light load but at the same time that leaves me with a lot of time on my hands.  It is amazing what the body can adjust to.....can you believe I will be caring for a 2 year old and 6 month old and I feel like there is a lot of time on my hands (when my son was born I didn't even think about a sibling until he was over 3 LOL)  This led me to think about.....


What am I looking forward to with the season change......

JonJon comes back from Korea  (and hopefully Ooney too).  I can hardly believe how much I missed this kid when he went back to Korea.  The it is so weird how our nuclear family once J, me, Banana and Carrot felt incomplete in their absence.  He comes in Tuesday of next week and we are excited to welcome him home.

Our adoption......

and how I like to have a plan for everything.  In my mind I am assuming/planning on getting a boy even though we elected either gender.  In one way having that small percentage of what if it was a girl is exciting.....but I almost wonder if I would be disappointed if we got a girl referral.  I think we really want a boy....it is what we feel will fit best into our family and what we are planning for, so I am thinking of making that change in our paperwork.

and our adoptions got me thinking about what I should be thinking about most......

What I need to focus on most.....

My relationship with God.  I have been following a blog I discover a while back when we were considering adoptions as was this couple they moved forward while we were still in the waiting for the right timing phase.  She recently posted on something I am so guilty of....making our family and loved one's our god.  Here is a link to her post which really go me to thinking on this and my need to spend more time in prayer and devotion.  http://www.ourhappilyeverafters.com/2012/08/your-family-is-your-god.html?spref=bl.

There are so many things I need to pray for daily - my husband who works a stressful job and has to balance his obligation to his work and his family, my children who are at such formative ages and in school with all the pressures of the world around them, my baby who is not growing within me but in another woman halfway across the world who is probably hurting, is she caring for herself and her baby within?   How am I worthy to go to God in prayer with my request and petitions if I am not consistently spending time in his word and growing?

I checked this out of our church library.  I have read Stormie O'Martin's The Power of a Praying Wife and after this one I would like to read The Power of a Praying Parent.

Aren't you glad I only have a little less than 1 acre to mow not 2 acres.

A mom's hug last long after she lets go.~Author Unknown

This past weekend my mom would have been 73.

I lost my mother before my children were born which is a blessing and also a loss.  I saw a different kind of pain on my sisters faces with the loss of my mother.  They were sad having lost their mother but they also had to watch their children loose their MomMom....they knew what life was like having our mom in their children's lives and also had the realization that that was gone.

I only had to deal with my loss but on the flip side of that is the sadness that even if my children only new her briefly their lives would have been so blessed from it.

My children have no memories of having their Mom Mom make them Halloween costumes or baby quilts. They never had her take them to the ocean and give them an entire lesson on marine life in such a way that they didn't even know they were learning.

I have certainly not lived the past 13 years feeling sorry for myself but our social worker touched on the loss of my mom a great deal and it has gotten me thinking a lot on it lately.

I AM missing so much.  I see friends have their mom's come for a visit, I see a mom, grandma and child at the library, at the park and on vacations.  It makes me wonder how my life would be different.

My mom is gone but not really.  We are her legacy....and hopefully we can live our lives as a reflection of what she was and what she taught us.

My mom was an amazing woman.  She reflected God's love, she could work a full time job come home make a completely meal from scratch, work on her lesson plans for school, weed her garden, and have time to work on a quilt all in one day.

I know I will never measure up but I hope I can spend my life trying.

I found a little book she made me when I was little that taught me to tie, button, zip, etc........

Learn to tie

Learn to Button

Learn to buckle

1 Month...down

 MONTH DOWN!!!

I was just filling out a daily report for one of my daycare kids and went to look at the date.....WHOOHOOOO one month down on the wait.  It was hard for me to believe that the month has gone so fast....just maybe the rest of the wait will go this fast :)