Camping 2013

Our 2013 camping trip will be remembered as HOT.  It was a fun trip but I don't ever remember it being this hot in the mountains.  

View from our cabin porch

View from our hammock

Sunfish assembly for Jeff's fun to begin

Looking up 

Relaxing in our hammock

New playset Carrot enjoyed

View from the top of Aunt Carol's mountain 

Sweaty picture after the hike up

headed back down

View of our cabin from our boat

I wouldn't mind a house on a hill looking over the lake

I know the upcoming pictures are lilly pad overkill but I really like them and just couldn't stop taking pictures

two sillies

So many dragonflies

Silly face

hike to the swimming beach

Carrot's first solo horseback ride she even ask to gallop

After our horseback ride we were allowed to sneak a peak at some cute little baby pigs that were only a few days old.

Uncle Daryl

It was so hot one day Jeff decided we should hit the local amusement park to try to stay cool at the water park.  It was a fun day.

Crazy boy of mine

Jeff and I went on this once with the kids and felt very old.  I used to love this ride as a kid.

Board games

Another memory

One Year

Our home study went to Korea one year ago today

 365 days

I am at least hoping we are at the peak of our wait and we are on the decent at this point.  

I'm not sure why this one year mark seems hard.  I think I have allowed myself to think we could get our referral in the next few months and for that reason it is getting harder.  I hope we do get our call soon but need to prepare that it could be this long still just waiting to see his picture.

I have been productive in my wait.  I learned to crochet starting with some scarves last fall and then over the winter I moved on to making a blanket for our new little guy.  I watched some You Tube videos and learned how to make granny squares and have been plugging along at them all winter.  I didn't know how to sew them together or add a boarder but another You tube search and they were together. Then a trip to my neighbors and I learned to add a boarder and done.

I am so excited I learned to do this and stuck with it to complete this.  I hope it doesn't fall apart when I wash it :)

Can't wait to use it! 

My first purchase

Up until now I have not allowed myself to purchase anything for the baby.  I guess I have been scared something might happen and I would get disappointed but I decided to purchase one thing and I love how it turned out.

When we get our referral we will be allowed to send him one package and a while ago I saw a website were you can create a customized board book.  The store is called Pint Size Productions click for website.

The processing takes 4-6 weeks to arrive after you order it so I went ahead and got it now so I would have it on hand when we do get that special call.

I filled the book with various pictures.  Family, the kids together, the kids separate, each pet, our house and playroom, even John since there is a chance he could still be with us but that is looking more doubtful everyday if things don't start speeding up.  I am going to have John write below the print in Hangul when he comes back in the fall so that the foster mother can read the book to the baby and he can become familiar with his new family and hoping he will recognize us when we go to Korea.

Patience

But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day! (Habakkuk 2:3 TLB).\

Special project fun

I have really been enjoying my summer.  We have done two fun projects that I have never done before and have loved both so far.  We ordered a butterfly kit and watched the caterpillars turn to butterflies.  It was so much fun. 

Another project I can't believe I never have tried before was tie dying.  I LOVED IT and they turned out great.

 doesn't this picture just make you happy

Beach trip

I am a little behind in blogging.  Catching up with a missed beach trip from a few weeks ago.  It was just a perfect day.  Not to hot on the beach but not too cold that we couldn't get in the water.

Believe it or not Banana wanted to ride this less than

 30 minutes after his huge hamburger and frys - Yuck

 This was way too high for me.  Carrot was having a great time on the ride and I was praying I would get off alive.  She giggled....I am so happy we used 4 tickets each to ride this as we were spinning :)

It was a beautiful day!

WE HAVE THE MONEY FOR THE COUNTRY FEE.

We arrived home from a wonderful day at the beach.  A day where the sky is so clear and you just don't want to leave.  As we were sitting around our table at 9:00 at night finishing off some awesome raspberry pie and homemade ice cream Jeff mentioned casually(as he looked at the bank statement he had just opened from the day's mail)  we have the money we need for the Korean country fee saved up.

He said it so casual but it was such a surreal feeing at the same time.  I couldn't really stop thinking about it Saturday night. Then Sunday morning when we were signing in worship and we go to the part of the song Our God that said, "and if our God is with us, then what can stand against us" my eyes welled up with tears.   When we started this process that amount we needed seemed like a mountain in front of us but that impossible mountain of money could not stand in the way of what God had planned.

It is just such a humbling experience that God gave us this money.   From a year and a half ago not even having two thousand saved up for this to God providing the twenty thousand we needed for the country fee after already providing the ten thousand to get the process started.  We still need to save up for travel which is not a little expense but I have zero anxiety around this.  God is with us on this.  This was part of HIS plan and he has clearly shown us that he will provide.

Thoughts of a waiting adoptive Mama

THE THOUGHTS OF AN ADOPTIVE MAMA TO BE:

 You compulsively check your e-mail and FB groups for news on movement in the program as if by checking the FB group for the 100th time can magically make things start moving.

Your heart skips a beat when you realize you left your phone on silent for the day.

You program your agency's phone number to ring like the quack of a duck because your sure you wont mistake that ring tone for anyone else.

 You wake up everyday hoping to hear that beautiful sound of THAT duck ring tone.

 You try over and over again to convince yourself that you probably should not expect your referral until late fall but you can't stop your heart from hoping it will be sooner.

You stalk time lines and blogs and have your own running list in the cover of your calendar.

You absorb other people's stories when they are traveling to get some kind of idea what to expect.

You get chills when you read about them meeting their baby for the first time and cry when they share thier experience of what it was like when the foster mother hands the baby to you in the elevator and the doors close and that baby is yours.

You fear the grieving and sleepless nights and hope for the best, but also know the grieving is a good sign of attachment and fear them not grieving.

You have spent countless hours dreaming about what it will be like to open that file for the first time and see the face of your baby you have been wait to see for so long.

You've spent even more countless hours dreaming about what it will be like when you meet him for the first time knowing you love him way more than he loves you.

You wonder:

What does he look like
Why could his mother not keep him
Will he have any of the special needs we selected
Will he like me
Will I like him
Will my kids like him
What if the wait REALLY IS 9-12 months longer - I'M NOT SURE I CAN STAND IT.

Your husband thinks your crazy for all of the above and you wonder if there is something wrong with you until you realize all the other waiting mama's out there are thinking and feeling the same thing.   They are checking their e-mail and FB group for then millionth time as well.

.....YOU KEEP ON LIVING LIFE.  You enjoy every moment of every day.  Enjoy the blessing God has given you and just WAIT!  Your not miserable in the wait but you just WAIT and WAITING IS HARD!