Our final home study interview (the home visit) is scheduled for tomorrow. At first this was scheduled for the first week of April and the social worker called me the Friday night before and with short notice I was ok with things not being perfect.
Since the visit was rescheduled to this week and I had a nice long rainy Sunday things are "almost perfect" right down to the apple pie I made this moring to serve our social worker. I know that things don't need to be perfect. I have heard everyone say "oh they don't look that close at the house - don't worry about it", and we really like our social worker and I truly "feel" it does not need to be perfect.
This morning while I was making "my speciality" homemade apple pie and I was spending so much extra time on the crust, slicing the apples just so, and preparing the crumb topping in nice fine crumbs instead of my normal rush rush rush lumpy sugar clumps - I kept questioning WHY THE APPLE PIE?
Why did I feel the need to make my "best" dessert. I fully understand it didn't matter. It takes some time to make apple pie from scratch and I kept pondering that thought - why the apple pie.
I only make apple pie on occasion because it takes so very long but I like to make it for my family because they all love it and they know how long it takes me to make it and I make it because I love them.
As the pie was baking I realized I wasn't spending the time making everything perfect for the social worker but it was out of love for my new baby. I want it to be perfect for him because I love him already. I love this little person who has only been a wish in my heart for the past 10 years while I have prayed my husband would come around to the adoption idea.
So why the apple pie? It is for you my little boy who I can't wait to meet and I hardly know how I am going to put in the long months upcoming waiting for your referral and then to meet you but you are worth the apple pie.
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