The heart of a Foster Mother- Part II

Adoption is a beautiful thing.  I get to parent a third child, a child I have prayed for God to send me for almost a decade....but the process begins with so much loss.

By the time our baby is placed with us, his forever family, he will have already had to loose two mothers.  His first mother who carried him within and chose to give him life, but could not parent him.

His second mother, his foster mother, who he could have been with only a few short month or in many cases between 1-2 years.   When we pick up our baby this will be his Mother....this is ALL he knows.

This woman will have cared for him day and night, she will have picked him up from the reception center and started to give him the care of a mother.  This care is so important and so much of what he needed during these crucial developmental stages when babies need the touch and love of a personal care giver.  He is part of her life day in and out.  He is often with her all day and night, napping on her back, sleeping in her bed...he calls her Umma.

Then one day probably with tears in her eyes she dresses him one last time, she feeds him one last breakfast and she prepares to say goodbye.  She takes him to the adoption office and watches the happiness in the faces of his new family....and she feels loss.

How can she communicate to this baby's new mother all she needs to about this baby - it is impossible.  She tries to shares the most important with the help of the interpreter and then she says goodbye.

These pictures express exactly the loss these babies feel....they just lost what they know as Umma.....

.....and Umma just lost the baby she loved and cared for. 

There will be so much loss and grief that accompanies my joy of becoming a parent again.  It is heartbreaking.  Preparing for this new baby is an emotional process like I have never experienced.

"There is an instinct in a woman to love most her own child - and an instinct to make any child who needs her love, 

HER OWN."

~Robert Brault~

Thank you to Romin Lee who allowed me to share his images. Click here for Romin's website

Hopefully we will meet one day when we finally make it to Seoul in the mean time my I will keep adding to my "kimchi jar for photos" ;)