WE HAVE THE MONEY FOR THE COUNTRY FEE.

We arrived home from a wonderful day at the beach.  A day where the sky is so clear and you just don't want to leave.  As we were sitting around our table at 9:00 at night finishing off some awesome raspberry pie and homemade ice cream Jeff mentioned casually(as he looked at the bank statement he had just opened from the day's mail)  we have the money we need for the Korean country fee saved up.

He said it so casual but it was such a surreal feeing at the same time.  I couldn't really stop thinking about it Saturday night. Then Sunday morning when we were signing in worship and we go to the part of the song Our God that said, "and if our God is with us, then what can stand against us" my eyes welled up with tears.   When we started this process that amount we needed seemed like a mountain in front of us but that impossible mountain of money could not stand in the way of what God had planned.

It is just such a humbling experience that God gave us this money.   From a year and a half ago not even having two thousand saved up for this to God providing the twenty thousand we needed for the country fee after already providing the ten thousand to get the process started.  We still need to save up for travel which is not a little expense but I have zero anxiety around this.  God is with us on this.  This was part of HIS plan and he has clearly shown us that he will provide.

Thoughts of a waiting adoptive Mama

THE THOUGHTS OF AN ADOPTIVE MAMA TO BE:

 You compulsively check your e-mail and FB groups for news on movement in the program as if by checking the FB group for the 100th time can magically make things start moving.

Your heart skips a beat when you realize you left your phone on silent for the day.

You program your agency's phone number to ring like the quack of a duck because your sure you wont mistake that ring tone for anyone else.

 You wake up everyday hoping to hear that beautiful sound of THAT duck ring tone.

 You try over and over again to convince yourself that you probably should not expect your referral until late fall but you can't stop your heart from hoping it will be sooner.

You stalk time lines and blogs and have your own running list in the cover of your calendar.

You absorb other people's stories when they are traveling to get some kind of idea what to expect.

You get chills when you read about them meeting their baby for the first time and cry when they share thier experience of what it was like when the foster mother hands the baby to you in the elevator and the doors close and that baby is yours.

You fear the grieving and sleepless nights and hope for the best, but also know the grieving is a good sign of attachment and fear them not grieving.

You have spent countless hours dreaming about what it will be like to open that file for the first time and see the face of your baby you have been wait to see for so long.

You've spent even more countless hours dreaming about what it will be like when you meet him for the first time knowing you love him way more than he loves you.

You wonder:

What does he look like
Why could his mother not keep him
Will he have any of the special needs we selected
Will he like me
Will I like him
Will my kids like him
What if the wait REALLY IS 9-12 months longer - I'M NOT SURE I CAN STAND IT.

Your husband thinks your crazy for all of the above and you wonder if there is something wrong with you until you realize all the other waiting mama's out there are thinking and feeling the same thing.   They are checking their e-mail and FB group for then millionth time as well.

.....YOU KEEP ON LIVING LIFE.  You enjoy every moment of every day.  Enjoy the blessing God has given you and just WAIT!  Your not miserable in the wait but you just WAIT and WAITING IS HARD!

Boat overnight take two

Well our first overnight trip on the boat did not end very well so we packed (and when I say packed up I mean that very loosely  this past Friday night and headed out to try it again.  My work week was very hectic as I had more kids than I intended to my first week of summer break and Jeff ended up worked until almost 2:30 but he came home gathered the stuff and headed to the boat and I was going to meet him when my last daycare kid left for the day.

It was a beautiful evening and we motored our way to our intended locations.  It was pretty breezy and the wind gust were reported up to 30MPH so we just played it safe and motored.

Peppers first boat ride and probably last.  He did not seem to enjoy himself and he is rather old so we decided it may be best not to bring him next time.

We realized we had a next in the boom and there were several little babies in the nest.  The bad news was mama bird left the nest before we left.  It was my suggestion to turn back and stay local to the marina for the night but Jeff wanted to pursue with our plan.....I hold the baby birds death his sole responsibility I DO NOT HAVE THEIR BLOOD ON MY CONSCIOUS

Skipper prefers to sit on his humans lap while sailing

So cute

Pulling into the creek for the night

Pepper made himself comfortable for the night at the first oppurtunity

Someone has got to clean this cabin up....oh yeah that would probably have to be me :(

Banana was dying to play apples to apples even being so proactive as to pull out the card with the bad word on it and throw it out.  We were so tired though we just went to bed. 

Around 3:30 Skipper threw up about 3 times.  We decided either he does not have sea legs or it was the 1/2 a sub he got into at dinner time

Morning came and we survived.  It was a beautiful morning

Carrot trying her hand at sailing

Carrot slept the last leg of the trip home.  All worn out form the night on the boat and a swim.

Happy Fathers Day

My kids are incredibly blessed to have such a great dad and I am incredibly blessed that you are willing to parent all over again and go half way around the world to get him.  

Thanks for all you do and for making my dreams come true

Happy Fathers Day Jeff!

11 months of waiting & number 3

We have been waiting 11 months now for our referral.

We are sort of number 3 on our sort of "list" that does not necessarily go in order.  BUT THAT IS STILL SUPER EXCITING FOR ME!

This is not an agency specific list just a FB group of people who use our agency but some of the super sleuthing ladies have seemed to determine that our list up to a certain point is pretty accurate from information they have gotten from our program director.

What does this mean for me - who knows but if I'm looking at this on a positive day it means that we could get the call ANY MINUTE.  It means I can get to see the picture of my baby ANY DAY NOW.....or it means I could wait almost another 10-12 months for referral.   For right now I prefer to look at this glass half full and I am hoping to get the call sometime over the next few months maybe even this summer.

I believe our agency still has 14-19ish referrals for 2013.

The funny thing about an adoptive mama to be is the random thoughts that run through you head.  I may need to save that for another post.  But for today I am feeling positive.  I feel like worse case senario we are at least almost to the top of the hill on the waiting mark.  By 12 months I'm sure I will be able to go downhill in the wait and I couldn't imagine it being another 12 months.

I may even take the plunge and e-mail my agency to ask some general questions about the process at this point.  I hardly ever bother them with questions so I am feeling like it is time.

Unexpected Beach Day

We had such a fun day yesterday.  Rooney came home on Saturday unexpected so we got an extra day with him so we packed up and headed to the beach.   I posted this picture on facebook with a caption that we were headed to the beach and low and behold my sister called me not too long after and they were headed there as well.  So we all made plans to meet up.

One last time heading out as a family of 6 before Rooney leaves for Korea

They can't be without their phones

Resting while Banana does all the work

 Catch

Carrot was loving the water even though she was blue

It was right about here I got picked up by Jeff and John and thrown in the water.  It was COLD

I love how all 4 of them always fall asleep whenever we are headed home from an outing.

 Out to dinner for seafood to celebrate some birthdays.

We really split that cake 3 ways.