Like a 3 year old

Ps. 40:1  I waited patiently for the Lord

Blogging emotions today :(  After all what did I start this blog for....to document our adoption.  Ok it is defiantly morphed into documenting our life - an on-line photo album I suppose.  But documenting the adoption is in fact going to come with a lot of emotions. 

Today is one of those days.  It has been a strange day actually where my emotions have gone from one end of the spectrum to the other.  One minute I found myself folding laundry and feeling so happy and blessed to be able to be home with my kids and not working outside the home and then I walked over to my computer.  

I read the words I have been dreading that someone who had a HSTK after us got their referrals after only waiting a small handful of months.  I got this pit in my stomach and I am having a hard time getting it to go away. 

I knew it was bound to happen.  I know that our agency does not go in order per-say, I know that God has the perfect baby picked our for our family, I know that God also has the right timing for our family. So why do I feel sad....  

I guess inside we all have that sinful nature just like you see in a 3 year old......NO IT WAS MY TURN!(actually it wouldn't even be my turn there are a few others waiting longer than me)

One day I am going to get our referral and see that sweet little face of the baby I know is out there.  I am going to look at the big picture and realize God had it all in control.  

I am probably going to sit in amazement at how God timed this all out just perfect for our family....but today I feel like a three year old on the inside stomping my feet with a sour expression on my face saying...NO IT IS MY TURN!  

So I turned to HIM and HE Says....Wait patiently on the Lord.

He reminded me that.....

Often blessings cannot be received until we go through the trial of waiting