The Christmas Cards

I did it!  I sent out the Christmas cards.

This is not a big accomplishment due to lack of time or busy schedule.  In fact, they have been sitting here on my table for almost 2 weeks addressed and ready to go.  The accomplishment was walking them to the mail box.

I normally make the cards early and send out early but I held off making them a while longer hoping we would get our referral and I could add a picture of the baby.  Then we attended our adoption meeting and I realized we would probably not get a referral until the new year so I made the cards.  I had myself 99% convinced the referral would not come and I should just send them out but no matter what there is this little 1% of my heart that held onto hope that it may come and I could maybe add his picture to them so there they have sat.....

...but the calendar kept turning and here we are at mid-December and I knew it had to be done so I  picked up those cards (that actually started to get covered with dust) and walked them bravely to the mail box.   I stood there and looked around at the beautiful scene of my snow kissed neighborhood and shut the box tight knowing there is a reason and timing for this but it was hard to give up that last one percent of hope.

I know it is harder on us adoption Mama's-to-be.  I'm sure the dads never would allow this process to creep mentally into the little details of their life.  Who knew it would effect something as simple as sending out my Christmas cards, but it does and even a year ago at the early stages of my wait I did not understand how hard this adoption process was for the mama's at the end of the wait until I got here myself.